How not to verbally rape someone

You might be surprised, but some people honestly do not know if they're verbal rapists. Could it be you? Here's how to tell:
- Do people get angry at you for no reason?
- Have people lost patience while you were talking and become a part of another conversation?
- Do people's faces go blank when you are talking?
If you answered yes to all three questions, you might be a verbal rapist.

However, if you are a salesperson and subscribe to the school of "Get Them To Say Yes Everytime" or (the horror, the horror!) attended a class to learn techniques such as "assumptive close" and "two question close," you are already that which you read about: you, sir, (or madam) are a verbal rapist. The other variety only hold my hand until my palms begin to sweat.

Please don't get me wrong. I love salespeople. I am one. The right ones are your friends. They have a genuine interest in your needs, they provide a service that you would otherwise not be able to get. It's the ones that use "scripts" whom I have trouble with. Because these VRs (verbal rapists) strike so much terror in the hearts of well intentioned customers that they run in the other direction when I tell them I sell real estate.

The problem of course if that VBs are more vocal than the other kinds like me that are self assured in our knowledge of the industry and focused on customer service. It wasn't too far back that I met my own VR. And he attacked me with every script in the book. Just yesterday I got a DVD shoved at me. The guy asked me if I was open to making more money. Caught me at a weak moment - I was in service mode.

I said yes.

"Look at this," he said. And after that every other word that came from his mouth was, "Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump." Apparently, the Donald had endorsed his company and this salesperson was trying to get me to sign up for network marketing, that broad area of marketing that should be seen for what it is - a grand pyramid scheme in a nicer name. (And by the way nothing against Donald Trump. He only verbally assaults people that have either asked for it or deserve it. He is not in my list of VRs.)

Anyway, back to scripts. The salesperson called this morning to see if I had watched the DVD. What does he begin with? "What did you like best?" Excuse me? How would you like it if you went on a date with someone and he turned around and said, "So now that you've known me for about five minutes, where are we going to honeymoon?"

Talk about sleazy.

The main problem with scripts is that they rob you of real human contact. They also serve to pin the customer in a place of powerlessness, so although the VR gets what he wants, it is at the price of genuine conversation. "Are you open to making more money?" only has one response unless one wishes to sound stupid. "What did you like best about it?" pigeonholes me into not being able to express what I really felt without being rude. Take someone's power away and you'll never make a good sale. You might make the sale, but everytime your customer sees you, they'll cringe. And you're not someone who wants to make people cringe, are you? (Ha! VR, caught you at your own game, see?)

In the end, I told Mr. Wannabe Salesperson that I wasn't interested. But, but... Donald Trump, he said again. Billionaire, he said. Don't you respect him?

I'm more a Warren Buffett, I replied. If something doesn't seem right, I won't invest anything in it. And that was that.